Odd Experiences of Life 004

The fourth of these weird-ass tales.


My visiting cousin and I were standing at an unspecified bus stop one day, conversing about some thing or another (she’s somewhat a loud person), waiting for the free bus to come along, when all of a sudden, this old Caucasian male noticed us (her more). I found it disturbing, but I thought nothing of it, because he disappeared into a nearby store.

My cousin and I kept talking.

When he came out, he immediately approached us and asked if the bus had come yet. My cousin happily replied, saying, “Nope, the bus hasn’t come yet.” Smiles and everything. And when she did that, I just internally wailed, knowing as I did that this man had the look of someone who was looking around for women to proposition for some “fun” times. I was berating her in my head, wanting to tell her not to reply in such a cheerful way.

By this time, she had said more than a sentence to him and had just had a short conversation with him. I was trying to think up ways to get rid of him, but nothing came to mind. He then asked us if we were tourists and I immediately butted in with, “No, actually. We live here. I’m actually a 2nd year student at a university here in Macau.” I might as well have also said, “We also live with my parents, who are very protective of their female relations, such as us, so please don’t get any funny ideas, bub.”

“Oh. Are you a student at the (insert university name)?”

“No. I’m a student somewhere else.”

I was trying to be polite by answering, but giving as little as I could to communicate the message, “Please. SHTAP.”

Thankfully, the bus arrived soon after and we all got in (sadly, that “we” included the man). He kept talking to us (now, he had his full attention on me though, since my cousin, by then, had gotten the guy’s intentions). He kept trying to get information out of me, but I kept blocking him (at one point, he even asked where we lived, to which I replied with a, “Just near the university somewhere.” I might as well have done the whole that-general-direction hand wave motion that specifies nowhere). I managed to make him talk about himself instead, discovering a number of things (one of which was that he was French).

“Professionally or privately? Well, professionally, I’m a pilot. Privately, I enjoy having fun (insert weird eye contact I dodged by looking at his stupidly suggestive eyebrows wiggling). I have a yacht in Coloane.”

“Oh! Coloane sailing! So you’re the guy who teaches sailing, right? My younger baby brother, who now studies at (insert school’s name) right over there, where I used to go a few years past, has a friend who you must be teaching. (insert kid’s name, which I obviously won’t spell out here)? You know him?”

“Ah! Yes! (insert kid’s name)! Him and his family went to Vietnam for the holidays! Him and his sister are studying how to sail with me. But if you do go by Coloane, you should just look for me and I’ll show you my boat.” (internally cringes at the thought, despite wanting to laugh. I had this weird urge to play along though, just to mess with him, but I am so glad I didn’t. That would have been really low.).

He then revealed that we was flying out that night for some “wild fun” in the Philippines after finding out we were Filipino. Why not Bangkok, I don’t exactly know. But I wasn’t going to say anything, since I might have gotten an invitation to go myself and my delicate sensibilities (Pah! Puhleez) wouldn’t have been able to take that. Reaching our bus stop, we turn to say a polite goodbye, but, to my annoyance, he was getting off as well; it turned out that he lived in the same cluster of apartments we lived in as well. Thankfully, he excused himself by saying, with a huge suggestive grin on his face, that he needed to check up on his car parked some ways away.

Thanking the high heavens when he disappeared, I walked hurriedly towards our building, with my cousin trying to catch up to my sudden speed burst. I was on full throttle towards our apartment’s entrance, because I didn’t want the guy to see where we lived, just in case he decided to be nosy.

Lessons learnt? None. Already known information dug even deeper into my mind? Definitely.

Have a poker face on at all times. Don’t draw attention to yourself (but if you really have to, for those who want attention, be the whiny biatch version of yourself. This usually keeps people away from you as they presumably think you are a snobby brat who is most probably hard to deal with.). Be polite, but not inviting interest. Keep the other person talking about themselves. Don’t hold eye contact. All this directed at someone you would prefer to leave you alone, of course.

On a side note though. I ran into the same guy a couple of days ago at the grocery store (I guess he’s back from his “wild” times in the Philippines). He looked at my face, then down my length. To say it didn’t feel demeaning would be a lie, but I didn’t really give a crap then. Look all ya want, bub, coz I ain’t talkin’ nor givin’ a rat’s arse what you gon’ do or say since this be da grocery store, foo. I walked into the junk food aisle to avoid him though, and I haven’t seen him since.

Odd Experiences of Life 003

The third of the weird-ass tales.


Sitting in the Old Taipa Village McDonald’s one day, a girl of indeterminate age was enjoying her iced milk tea drink while writing sporadically into a notebook. She would occasionally look out of the window to see what was going on outside that might give her some inspiration and on one such occasion, she accidentally made eye contact with a seemingly Caucasian male. She quickly averted her eyes, because of how awkward it felt (despite the fact that she constantly accidentally did that whenever she looked around) and hoped the guy wouldn’t notice.

Then the most startling thing happened. She sensed that he noticed her. With the help of her sixth sense, she started packing up her things really quickly. The guy had walked into McDonald’s and, without ordering, decided to target in on the seat right next to her. She, however, deftly moved out of her seat, facing away from him to bring about the illusion that she did not notice him at all, and calmly and casually walked out.

Close call, it was.

The lesson she learnt here? Nothing.

Okay. Maybe it could be, “listen to your gut feeling/sixth sense more.”

Odd Experiences of Life 002

The second of the weird-ass tales.


During an unspecified year’s summer break, a girl of indeterminate age took up a summer job as an architecture/design intern at an unspecified company that was also her dad’s workplace, where he held a pretty good rank (and was probably one of the reasons why she got the internship, which she can’t really complain about; it paid pretty well after all).

For her to get to work, she need only accompany her dad, either catching a ride with him via his motorcycle or by accompanying him on the very full public bus in the early morn to work. After work, however, she was left to her own devices to find a way home, since her dad almost always worked overtime.

She had three options here. The first option was to take the public bus home, but having to deal with that almost every morning, she crossed that off from her list of ways home. The second option was to take the company shuttle bus that would drop her off at some point in Taipa, near where she lived, that would allow her to walk home from the drop off point. The third and final option was to walk home. And that was what she chose, because she wanted to keep fit and because she wanted to explore the area a little bit more.

And so she did. Explore, I mean — especially the casinos/hotels/resorts nearby.

To get home, she had to walk through City of Dreams, Venetian, Old Taipa Village, Taipa main, and then the shortcut/alleyway to get to the UMac/SKH area to get home. She did this for around one month and a half, then she stopped doing it, because, well, men.

Beginning from after the second day of work, she began her daily exodus through part of the Cotai Strip, beginning at the Hyatt. At a specific door that led out of the City of Dreams stood a horde of doormen. And having sensed her Filipino-ness, they would constantly acknowledge her every single time she passed by, throwing — well — compliments (?) at her, like, “Maganda.” After awhile, one of them started to point out how apparently single she appeared to be by saying, “Parang wala ka yatang kasama a” or a variant of that every single time she passed by. The first few times this happened, she really thought nothing of it, having deduced that their job must be extremely boring and this was their odd form of amusement, despite the fact that as her encounter with them increased, the more it seemed like catcalling to her.

And so, she bought an iPod to block them out with her eclectic music fountain.

One day, as she was approaching the dreaded doorway of semi-catcalls, she noticed that the one guy who constantly pointed out how single she was had on casual clothes instead of his doorman uniform. Now, having developed a system wherein she’d try to duck under a large passing crowd to avoid being singled out by the doormen, she searched her vicinity for any good-sized crowd. She was left disappointed and her dreaded feeling of something non-innocuous happening increased.

As she approached, she focused her attention on something in the distant, while leaving a ghost of a smile on her face to seem less bothered and less rude towards the doormen. She did her best to ignore that one guy, increasing her music as she continued on, but she still heard him say, “Sasamahan kita”; he was attempting to accompany her to who the hell knows where she went after work.

What did she learn from this? It is best to always have earphones in, even if it isn’t plugged into anything on the other end (although, ideally, it would be best to have it connected to some functioning music device) to give the illusion that one is deaf from all attempts at social interactions from strangers. Especially when walking around all on your own.

On a side note, this technique she had developed (which many other women also probably use) came in quite handy in another situation where she had to walk by an extremely huge crowd of brown men (she feels justified in using this racial classification as she herself is classed under it) who, as she passed, started catcalling. She could have passed another way, to avoid them, but that would have been a longer, more tedious route. With her iPod on, however, she minimized her ability to hear them, thus her play at being oblivious to them due to loud music was solidified.

Odd Experiences of Life 001

Weird-ass tales begins.

Thought I might as well tell these tales I’ve experienced firsthand, because they make me laugh every single time I think about them (although when they are happening, I am panicking deep down). I have had a few classed such as these — few and far between, might I add — but they seem like such funny little tales to share (worth using somewhere else — I’ll keep them here for documentation purposes) I can’t just pass up the opportunity.

Here’s the first of a few. And more will certainly be added in the future.


On a sunny winter day’s past, a non-Chinese girl of indeterminate age was walking out of one of those really nice apartment blocks from her tutoring job, when suddenly, a person of non-interest took notice of her from across the street; he was all swagified and she was all terrified.

The foreign-looking man of non-interest, whose age was also indeterminate (but most definitely above his twenties), crossed the road to get to her side and started following her. She increased her walking speed threefold and decided to weave through whatever crowds happened by her, which were seemingly non-existent that early in the morning, for the main purpose of losing him. That was, after all, one of the things she learned from playing Assassin’s Creed for those two whole days that summer.

Having already walked an incredible distance, she still sensed the man following her, which was a suspicion that was confirmed from a single look at a reflective glass wall surface. She suddenly remembered that she needed to buy some certain not-too-important thing at the stationary store and so she headed towards one near where she was. Once she entered the store, she immediately approached the cashier and started speaking Chinese, asking to buy some AA batteries. The man followed her in and when she started speaking Chinese to the cashier, he left the store and she never saw him ever again.

And that experience alone taught her a valuable lesson — she learned never to not look unoccupied with her thoughts while walking around on her own.