How does one cope with life in a new city – nay, a new world? Well, that’s a somewhat challenging question to answer, considering the fact that I’m one to usually deny how I actually really feel about most things, unless it is organically drawn out of me through conversation or through writing. But to put things simply, I suppose I’m coping quite alright.
There’s quite a lot of things that are drastically different from my previous life. And no, not previous life where I’ve already died and have somehow been reincarnated to this day and age. That could be a possibility, but that’s neither here nor there. Life here in the Philippines is totally different from the one I’ve been accustomed to in Macau, because, somehow, life here is just far more difficult. I miss the easy transportation system, the clean streets, the order, the systems, the rules and regulations, and even the occasional racist glances we Filipinos get. I also miss the people there, because, somehow, I feel more Chinese/Western than Filipino in some regard. Maybe this stems from my culturally diversified upbringing that has shaped my very libertarian views on most things.
I grew up there and I was shaped to be the person I am because of my life and experiences there. I can never deny that. And yes, I may miss it, but then I think of the reasons why I left in the first place and I’m renewed in my conviction to finish my time in Cebu just for that piece of paper that certifies me as a Mass Communications graduate of UP Cebu.
My reasons for leaving were, yes, as I have said to most people, because I didn’t feel that I was fit for the somewhat constricting nature of Architecture (I’d experienced first-hand the workings of an architectural department’s workload and I didn’t want that for my life). I had interest in it, because my dad is an architect and this made me think that, as his daughter, I’d have some of his genetic makeup that would make me do quite alright in architecture. But the pressures of architecture life just weren’t pleasurable because my passion never lay there. Also, personal conflicts arose while I was studying architecture there with a certain classmate (in every single class) and I needed an out because of the choking nature his presence had on me in all my classes and group projects. Combining the two aforementioned reasons justified my want to leave Macau for Cebu. And once that decision was made, I sadly lay waste to all that was good in my architecture experience at my previous university. I suppose I could say I have an “all or nothing” mentality, which seems to have just brought on a detrimental effect on my own life.
Leaving Macau was for the best and that’s the only thing that’s helped me cope with life in Cebu thus far. And my future intent on returning to Macau – or anywhere else – is driving me forward.
Life goes on no matter what anyhow – I’ll cope no matter what. I’m a flexible person.