Odd Experiences of Life 004

The fourth of these weird-ass tales.


My visiting cousin and I were standing at an unspecified bus stop one day, conversing about some thing or another (she’s somewhat a loud person), waiting for the free bus to come along, when all of a sudden, this old Caucasian male noticed us (her more). I found it disturbing, but I thought nothing of it, because he disappeared into a nearby store.

My cousin and I kept talking.

When he came out, he immediately approached us and asked if the bus had come yet. My cousin happily replied, saying, “Nope, the bus hasn’t come yet.” Smiles and everything. And when she did that, I just internally wailed, knowing as I did that this man had the look of someone who was looking around for women to proposition for some “fun” times. I was berating her in my head, wanting to tell her not to reply in such a cheerful way.

By this time, she had said more than a sentence to him and had just had a short conversation with him. I was trying to think up ways to get rid of him, but nothing came to mind. He then asked us if we were tourists and I immediately butted in with, “No, actually. We live here. I’m actually a 2nd year student at a university here in Macau.” I might as well have also said, “We also live with my parents, who are very protective of their female relations, such as us, so please don’t get any funny ideas, bub.”

“Oh. Are you a student at the (insert university name)?”

“No. I’m a student somewhere else.”

I was trying to be polite by answering, but giving as little as I could to communicate the message, “Please. SHTAP.”

Thankfully, the bus arrived soon after and we all got in (sadly, that “we” included the man). He kept talking to us (now, he had his full attention on me though, since my cousin, by then, had gotten the guy’s intentions). He kept trying to get information out of me, but I kept blocking him (at one point, he even asked where we lived, to which I replied with a, “Just near the university somewhere.” I might as well have done the whole that-general-direction hand wave motion that specifies nowhere). I managed to make him talk about himself instead, discovering a number of things (one of which was that he was French).

“Professionally or privately? Well, professionally, I’m a pilot. Privately, I enjoy having fun (insert weird eye contact I dodged by looking at his stupidly suggestive eyebrows wiggling). I have a yacht in Coloane.”

“Oh! Coloane sailing! So you’re the guy who teaches sailing, right? My younger baby brother, who now studies at (insert school’s name) right over there, where I used to go a few years past, has a friend who you must be teaching. (insert kid’s name, which I obviously won’t spell out here)? You know him?”

“Ah! Yes! (insert kid’s name)! Him and his family went to Vietnam for the holidays! Him and his sister are studying how to sail with me. But if you do go by Coloane, you should just look for me and I’ll show you my boat.” (internally cringes at the thought, despite wanting to laugh. I had this weird urge to play along though, just to mess with him, but I am so glad I didn’t. That would have been really low.).

He then revealed that we was flying out that night for some “wild fun” in the Philippines after finding out we were Filipino. Why not Bangkok, I don’t exactly know. But I wasn’t going to say anything, since I might have gotten an invitation to go myself and my delicate sensibilities (Pah! Puhleez) wouldn’t have been able to take that. Reaching our bus stop, we turn to say a polite goodbye, but, to my annoyance, he was getting off as well; it turned out that he lived in the same cluster of apartments we lived in as well. Thankfully, he excused himself by saying, with a huge suggestive grin on his face, that he needed to check up on his car parked some ways away.

Thanking the high heavens when he disappeared, I walked hurriedly towards our building, with my cousin trying to catch up to my sudden speed burst. I was on full throttle towards our apartment’s entrance, because I didn’t want the guy to see where we lived, just in case he decided to be nosy.

Lessons learnt? None. Already known information dug even deeper into my mind? Definitely.

Have a poker face on at all times. Don’t draw attention to yourself (but if you really have to, for those who want attention, be the whiny biatch version of yourself. This usually keeps people away from you as they presumably think you are a snobby brat who is most probably hard to deal with.). Be polite, but not inviting interest. Keep the other person talking about themselves. Don’t hold eye contact. All this directed at someone you would prefer to leave you alone, of course.

On a side note though. I ran into the same guy a couple of days ago at the grocery store (I guess he’s back from his “wild” times in the Philippines). He looked at my face, then down my length. To say it didn’t feel demeaning would be a lie, but I didn’t really give a crap then. Look all ya want, bub, coz I ain’t talkin’ nor givin’ a rat’s arse what you gon’ do or say since this be da grocery store, foo. I walked into the junk food aisle to avoid him though, and I haven’t seen him since.

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